Dr Bill: Are you still engaged?

words: Dr Bill Webster

Are you still engaged, or have you broken off the engagement? I am not referring to anyone’s marital status here, so let me explain.

On my recent visit to the UK, I took the train from my home town in Scotland to London. I was looking forward to enjoying the scenery along the journey, eagerly looking to see the famous Carnoustie Golf Course, the magnificent Edinburgh Castle, the Angel of the North, and many other highlights along the way.

Across the table from me was a young chap, early twenties or whatever, totally engrossed in his mobile phone, texting and checking stuff out from the time he got on the train until he got off. He didn’t glance up or see a single thing along the journey. He didn’t say a solitary word to me or anyone else – his whole attention was focused on his phone.

I thought “what a shame!” He missed out on so much that was there to be enjoyed. I couldn’t help reflect on the statement, quoted by Pirates of the Caribbean character Captain Jack Sparrow: “It’s not the destination so much as the journey.”

In the news coverage of a recent terror attack, I saw something I could hardly believe. I reviewed the video numerous times to make sure it had actually happened. One of the victims, who had been struck by a vehicle, lay dead or dying on the road. Someone ran up and, rather than trying to assist or comfort, simply took a few pictures with their phone, and then ran off to another situation to get more. I was shocked, yet somehow, sadly, not surprised.

Media today almost gives us the impression we are spectators at such events, somehow not directly involved. Some might say: “Well, that is modern technology and communication,” and that may be the case. But I cannot escape the conviction that people really want more.

In the seemingly self-absorbed world of social media, there is a deeper desire to be connected, to be in touch with the world around us, while somehow not really engaging with it.

25 years ago, the concept of the ‘experience economy’ came to the fore in business. Author James Gilmore said: “The Service Economy is peaking. A new, emerging economy is coming to the fore; one based on a distinct kind of economic output… experiences. Goods and services are no longer enough.”

In today’s changing economic climate and communication environment, consumer expectations around dying matters, death care, funerals and aftercare have again changed. To be successful, we need to be both focused and intentional in our efforts to serve families during all phases of that circle of service, before, during and after a death.

I believe what people are looking for these days is best described as “engagement”. In our culture of increasing individualism, there is a real danger of carrying this into our business and personal relationships.

When we think of the traditional meaning of engagement, our minds go to personal commitment or partnership, which in a business is seen in working practices that support a two-way approach between company and client, employer and employee. When a new client walks through the door, a professional business relationship commences.

But due to business pressures and other things dominating our attention, the continuous development of this relationship can sometimes falter and not be addressed. Engagement means the continuous development of an emotional relationship.

People today in my view want for a sense of belonging; feeling part of something and gaining something in return, whether increased trust, confidence, knowledge, understanding or commitment. True engagement is not so much an action as an attitude; making it about them, not just about you; about their needs, not your sales.

The days of sitting at the office waiting on a call are gone. If you don’t believe me, how’s it working for you? With more competition in the market, and the transient nature of families today, it is critical to actively create and maintain relationships within your community.

These days, interacting regularly with your constituency is what will build your brand and your business.

What I have found in my own work is that while some customer needs can be complex, the majority of people just appreciate sincere actions.

If you would like to “engage” with Grief Journey to assist with your aftercare needs, “ring’ Linda Jones at 0333 8000 630. Your “proposal” will be met with a positive “I do!”

Dr Bill Webster is the author of numerous books and resources for grieving people. He has some innovative resources which funeral directors and professionals can make available to their clients as part of an after-care programme.

Contact

Linda D Jones, Executive Director of Resources, Grief Journey
Telephone: 0333 8000 630
Email
Website

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